Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
