Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
