I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
