i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
