like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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