I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
