She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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