So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
