im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
