Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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