So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
