i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
sarcasm needs its own font
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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