do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
