Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The adults are the big ones right?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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