I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
