Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet

(330): View more from Ohio

I'll alert the authorities

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(353): View more from

I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number

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(214): View more from Texas

Big sunglasses are the new paper bag

(817): View more from Texas

ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.

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(406): View more from Montana

She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.

(409): View more from Texas

That was definitely the right answer.

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(585): View more from New York

Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there

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(512): View more from Texas

Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!

(860): View more from Connecticut

You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight

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