I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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