oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
