Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
