How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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