Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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