they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
