i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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