Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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