That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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