I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
