STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
