i would punch a child for taco bell
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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