worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
