It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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