They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
