Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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