Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
