ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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