I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
