i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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