Im at strip club and am horny
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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