Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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