sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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