dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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