you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
