God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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