Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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