lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
