So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she pinky promised me she was 18
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
