she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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