the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
