Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
the raccoons are back...
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