She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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