I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
